in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
