How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
