I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm like, not good at living.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
