the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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