Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize