I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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