Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
