9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
