It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
