Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
