i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
