My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
