Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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