Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You were trust falling into bushes
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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