Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
