im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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