"it" just moved
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
