imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
