There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
