Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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