just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
