it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
