my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
