just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Mom said you looked used
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
