Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
