I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
