I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
