How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
