why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
