Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
