he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
