I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
