her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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