I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
