My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
