Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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