I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
