I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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