Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
