All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You have to summon your inner elephant
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
