this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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