God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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