drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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