My liver just broke up with me...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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