I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She tied me up with her honor cords...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize