he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
