So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
BRING THE BAGELS
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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