i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize