My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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