She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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