she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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