I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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