I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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