dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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