I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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