so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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